Let's face it. No 7-year old tells you that all they want to be when they grow up is a teen mom. It's no one's plan at that point in life. If we are being politically correct, it shouldn't be anyone's plan at any point in life. However, shit happens. It seems that when you are a teenager, all you want to do is play grown-up games, like experimenting with drugs, getting "wasted this weekend", and having sex. Looking back, I think to myself, "Who in the hell wants to win any of those games?"
Today's post centers on the game that has the most lasting consequence to playing: teen sex. It could be my narrow frame of reference, but teenage pregnancy is getting a lot of publicity these days. I'm not talking about statistical reports. I'm talking about the glamourization of having a child at a young age. While I love my trashy reality TV, I've watch with a growing horror as MTV has almost single-handedly made teenage pregnancy "hip". As I've sat and watched 16 & Pregnant, I've seen a lot of stories of young people going through the emotional rollercoaster of having a child at 16, 17, or 18. While they do add in the little editorial pieces of, "Having a baby has really changed my life and it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do.... yadda yadda yadda...", they also have begun turning this "experience" into a paypay for some. Hello, Teen Mom.
What. The. Fuck.
With this show, MTV gives it viewers a look at life as a teen mom. Let me tell you, I don't think life looks too bad for these kids. You have some that somehow have decent houses to live in, by themselves, when they only work (as admitted on film) part-time. How in the hell do they afford that? You see others that take vacations. Must be nice! Then there are the ones that always have their hair highlighted and nails done. This is the life! Finally, we see ones who can go out and party, eat at restaurants for seemingly every meal, take drugs if they feel like it...you get the picture. Hot shit, I should have been a mom at the age of 16. This is sweet!
That's the impression of teenaged parenting that MTV has given our youth. Do I really think it's been that easy for those portrayed on the show? No, however MTV has paid these children to showcase their lives and in the background have done a wonderful (HA!) job of editing their footage to show lots of ups with not-so-many downs. I remember reading an article on Amber Portwood concerning her court issues (at least a magazine will let that dirty laundry air), and she had listed her income at over $100,000 for the year.
I almost shit my pants.
What makes this crap a sore spot for me is that I was a teen mom. I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant. As a person who never wanted to be a mother, I was devastated. There were tears, rants, and a lot of kicking myself in the ass for being one stupid motherfucker. For being so smart, I sure was dumb. I knew what came with having a baby so young and had no illusions of grandeur associated with my condition. The same can't necessarily be said for kids these days.
I recently found out that a family member of mine is living this story. She's 16 and pregnant. It's interesting to me, as for the last year and a half (or more), she's made continuous jokes about being pregnant, would take pictures of herself with a pillow under her shirt, and has started making those adult choices. When I found out she was pregnant, there was a moment of silence (as I was woken up with that phone call), followed by my thoughts of, "I'm not surprised". I'm not. To myself, the adult, she knew what the stakes were and based on her actions mentioned above, I started wondering if this was an accidental thing. Given the time she grew up in and how the stigma of teenage pregnancy has shifted from scarlet letter to status symbol, I wouldn't be surprised if she thought having a baby so young would be easy. It scares me for her, as I know that wake-up call is coming and is going to sting. I hope and pray that she gets the emotional support that she needs from our family.
All of that being said, I'm still happy for her. This relative is wonderful with children. She has those maternal instincts that I (still) don't possess. I have no doubt in my mind that she will be a wonderful mother. Do I wish that we were shifted forward 5-7 years? Of course, but who am I to judge? Being a teenage mother taught be so much about the type of grown up I wanted to be and pushed me to provide a life for my child that was better than what I had. I can say with complete honesty that without that push, it's very possible that I might be working at some restaurant waiting tables, wasting the money I earn because I have no drive to save it. Parenthood has been very good to me, but damn was it ever bad to me at times as well.
When I started this blog and was brainstorming topics, I intended to cover teenage pregnancy in a much different light. I hope that each of you can understand why the feeling on this topic is a little different at this moment. While I still have lots of rant pent up inside, I never want my relative to read this and feel that I am not there for them. Stay tuned for my next posting. I haven't decided on what topic I want to cover for sure, but it's bound to be awesome. I'll take off my serious hat for now. Thanks for reading!
No comments:
Post a Comment