Keep It Moving

**WARNING: I had written this entire post (almost) and this damn site deleted it for fun. This version is just a tad bit pissier as a result.**

Something that I've just really enjoyed since my relocation to San Antonio is the traffic. Oh wait, that's a lie. I was born with little patience. I don't like waiting and I do not like lazy.

Do not go into the "clear" lane that is closing in 500 feet just to cut back over into my lane. That pisses me off. Oh, you see me signalling to change lanes? That doesn't mean speed up jackass! It's raining and the roads here suck ass in the rain? Thank you for weaving in and out of traffic at high speeds.

Road rage pet peeves aside, there is one thing that I cannot stand from drivers- laziness. What in the hell is wrong with you? I'll share a little recap from my experience last night that will help you to understand why this post is happening.

Last night, 6:15p, Wal-Mart parking lot
First of all, it's common knowledge that Wal-Mart parking lots are the gathering place for idiots. Let's break down some of the dumbassery to be found:

1.  People walk out in front of cars without looking. Yes, I acknowledge that the pedestrian has the right of way, but people suck at driving. You won't catch me ignoring that ingrained lesson to look both ways before crossing the street. I value my life.

2. People walk down the middle of the parking aisle. You know, where the cars are driving. Again, common sense is seriously lacking.

3. People park where others try to drive. It's called a fire lane.

4. 95% of those parking in the handicapped parking spots jump out of the vehicles and practically skip into the store. I must assume that mental defect is their handicap.

This list could continue, but I really must move on.

What happened last night was something that I see frequently in parking lots and it drives me bat shit insane. I entered the parking lot behind another vehicle. We proceed into the parking lot, toward the parking aisles that are closer to the entrances. This vehicle in front of me comes to a complete stop BECAUSE SOMEONE IS PUTTING GROCERIES IN THEIR TRUNK IN THE FIRST PARKING SPOT IN THE ROW. Mind you, this row- not even that close to the entrances.

I do the quick honk, giving that reminder that there are people *patiently* waiting behind them. The driver rolls down their window and waves me around. I'm sorry, around what? You want me to "drive around you" into oncoming traffic? Seriously?

I literally had no escape. So, I waited a few more moments. Surely, they would get tired of waiting on the people that were STILL LOADING GROCERIES INTO THEIR CAR. Nope, no such luck. I finally had to bite the bullet and do something dangerous- drive on the wrong side of the "road" to get around this baffoon. You better believe that I laid on the horn, rolled down my passenger side window, and gave that driver the fingering of a lifetime (ba-dun-cha) on my way past.

The moral of my story is stop being lazy. No one died from walking from a parking spot (unless they were walking in the middle of the row). You people piss me off so bad when you inconvenience me because you are afraid of some aerobic exercise. I'm a fatty with a child that I have to carry in and I manage- I'm pretty sure that you could do the same.



I've gotten a lot of page views on this blog but rarely see comments. Trolls, please comment. I want to know people are reading this. I want ideas on post topics. I want to hear your stories of driving habits that really piss you off.

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